Look at the cost of the standard
The Centre for Clinical Interventions describes unhelpful perfectionism in terms of demanding standards, self-worth tied strongly to achievement and continuing despite negative consequences. The goal is not to give up on what matters to you, but to examine standards that are difficult to live with.
Notice a specific example: rewriting an ordinary email repeatedly, postponing a task because it might not be excellent or finding it hard to accept work that meets the actual requirement. The context and impact matter more than a label.
Reference: Centre for Clinical Interventions: Perfectionism ↗
Put the rule into words
Try completing the sentence: ‘If I do not get this right, it means…’ You might notice a fear about being judged, disappointing someone or losing an opportunity. Treat that answer as a concern to understand, not another reason to criticise yourself.
Ask what the task actually requires and who has set that requirement. Sometimes a practical standard is being replaced by a much stricter personal rule. Being able to name the difference can give a counselling conversation a clearer focus.
Choose a low-stakes example to discuss
You can bring one task where the cost of repeated checking feels larger than the benefit. Discuss what ‘finished’ could mean and what makes stopping difficult. Start with something that is safe to explore rather than a decision with serious consequences.
The aim is curiosity about the pattern. If an exercise becomes another performance target, that is useful information to share. Support can take account of your responsibilities and the pressures around you, rather than assume everything is a matter of attitude.
When support may be useful
Consider counselling when self-criticism affects rest, relationships, work or the ability to begin meaningful tasks. You can ask for support without needing a diagnosis. A first conversation can focus on the pattern you want to understand.
Chandni offers self-esteem and personal growth consultations in Malad West and online. Sessions can explore expectations, values and practical changes at a pace agreed with you. Neither an article nor a consultation promises a particular outcome.
About this guide
Published on the website of Psychologist Chandni Akhenia, M.A. in Clinical Psychology, with 3 years of experience. This is general educational information, not a personalised assessment. The public health references above support the information; their inclusion does not imply endorsement of this practice.
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